Below is my advice to those who can make use of this advice:
There are a lot of actions that we can do to show our loved ones that we care. Some people give presents; some people give their loved ones attention; some people offer act of helpful service.
I am highly impressed by sound rationale and reasons. I am interested in the ‘why’ and the ‘how’. So the sign of my regard is: I give my loved ones explanation, even when they don’t want to hear them, lol. Even when they allow me to do whatever I want, I still want them to know why I am doing it. Even when they don’t ask for any explanation, I will give them my reasons.
I want people to know why.
I want them to understand why I do something and why I refuse to do something! I don’t hide from them what I am about. For example, if I tell my family that I am now into usrah, then I will explain to them why. I don’t assume that my family will not understand without first trying. I find it astonishing how some people are so secretive about many things with their family; either they themselves think that they are doing something wrong, or they just don’t care enough about their family to explain.
If I stop explaining myself, that means I don’t care about what you think because you are not important enough. If I stop explaining myself, that means I think you are too stupid to understand, so why should I waste my time? If I stop explaining myself, that means I don’t need your approval and support.
Therefore, I can never, never, never ever stay silent, especially with my loved ones, about what I am doing and why I am doing it. For one thing, I could never think they are stupid or hard in the head. For another, I love them too much, I regard them too highly to give up making them understand. Because I know they will understand. If they haven’t yet understood, that means I haven’t been explaining clearly enough.
So, I just have to explain again; perhaps in a different way. Until they understand. And then everyone is happy.
You see, I am so used to getting my opinion across and my feelings understood that I find it really annoying when people don’t do the same. Sometimes I come on too strong and people get intimidated. LOL, sorry….I can be a bit scary. I know I can be annoying but hey, that’s what family is for…they just have to put up with my budget bagus and perasan pandai attitude. Most of the time I was just showing them the sign of my love: I explain and I am frank and forthright. It means I am confident that no matter how annoying I might sound, they have no choice but to love me anyway.
I will do the same for them. I will put up with their annoying habits too.
So, what are you afraid of? Talk to your family! Don’t hide your feelings and then whine that they don’t understand.
You see, don’t assume people don’t understand where you are coming from if you haven’t tried; or if you have only tried once; or if you have only tried 50 times! This is family, babe! If you don’t talk to them and don’t explain to them your opinion, your principles, your feelings and all the things that make up your personality, then who are you going to do all the explaining to? Your best friend? Your boyfriend? Which one(s) have more rights over you?Whatever it takes, however long it takes, keep explaining. What’s the worst thing that could happen when you know that your family loves you, regardless?
Maybe they will NEVER understand. But ‘never’ is not something that you can know for certain, unless you have a magic crystal ball that allows you to see all the way to hari kiamat. ‘Never’ is for you to challenge. So…never say never! (cliché and corny, I know)
Okay ke tak nih?