The Hijab Fetish: Hijab Makes Couples Horny

The Hijab Fetish?

The title of this post is intriguing.

Controversial MUCH?

Trust me, it’s gonna get juicier and juicier as we go along. I am pouring my heart and soul into this post…because I have been observing this phenomena for almost 5 years now and it’s been getting more and more obvious to this practiced eyes of mine that I simply could not ignore it anymore.

Since this phenomena is not gonna go away anytime soo, I have decided to make fun out of it. Might as well get a big great laugh out of something that can’t be helped rather than continuing being annoyed by it.

I have decided that I would be amused instead (as much as we can decide these things).

****

When I was in first year, I was not really observant. You see, I had so many other things to keep myself occupied with. I was busy trying to get adjusted to the life in overseas, making them suitable to my Islamic upbringing, get adjusted to the accent and get adjusted to going everywhere by bus (THAT was a major adjustment, allright!) and get adjusted to studying (Don’t even get me started on this because I could go on forever).

But by the time I was in my second year of med school, I noticed that a lot of people when they saw me (and people ALWAYS see me, if not stare at me, no matter how ORDINARY my activities are. To make myself feel better, I have come to attribute that phenomena to my drop dead gorgeous looks, lol) would suddenly get extra HORNY with their partner.

The first time that phenomena happened, I thought it must be a figment of my overimaginative mind. I am, after all, the younger sister of a novelist and am very keen to follow my sister’s path if medicine gets too boring in the future. My imagination is very fertile, indeed.

The second time it happened, again I shook my head in disbelief.

The third time…well, I speculated and arrived at a very self-flattering conclusion.

It was my damn good looks that made them horny! ROFL!!

And everytime the phenomena occured around my vicinity, I just shrugged my shoulders, resigned to get myself a face veil in the future.

Imagine my surprise when another Muslim friend of mine suddenly let me know in no uncertain terms that she had experienced the exact same thing that I had. Imagine my disappointment, my dear readers!  I was crushed (beyond anything!!) that it wasn’t my damn good looks after all, that had gotten all those couples horny.

It was our hijab.

I have since then labeled this phenomena as:

THE HIJAB FETISH.

On a second thought, it might not be our hijab, per se. It might actually be the fact that with our hijab, we are easily identified as being Muslims.

****

The first hijab-fetish couple I had seen:

I saw this couple on a bus when I was on my way to John Hunter Hospital by bus. The girl had her dark hair dyed blond (I knew this because the roots looked as dark as coals, ugh, soo ugly! What a BAD dye job!) and the guy had some piercings on his face (again, what makes them do all these piercings and tattoos! If you think my hijab is oppression, at least a lot of people said my hijabs are really pretty, okay!! But your ‘things’ that you do with freedom, just screamed BAD TASTE and possible diagnosis of HEPATITIS C ). At the risk of sounding superficial (for judging them based on their appearance), they didn’t look too educated or polished or sophisticated.

I climbed up the bus, paid the so-very-expensive bus fare, and sat right across the aisle from them at the special seating (usually reserved for elderlies and immobile people). They were  NORMAL at first. They were sitting at a perfectly acceptable distance. But after seeing me there, right across the aisle from them, suddenly my presence became too much a stimulation to be passively borne by them. A few minutes later they started kissing so very passionately, I had to look away just to give them some illusion of privacy.

Deep inside I was astonished that they would behave in a very lewd manner in public. And I wasn’t the only one who thought so. Other people (you know normal people without the towel or turban on their head, if you know what I mean) were staring too. One particularly elderly lady (her age might explain her wisdom) looked quite disgusted.

But I passed that off as:

1)In a western society, kissing publicly and soo…uh, enthusiastically, is normal.

2)Besides, they might come from a disadvantaged background and thus did not know how to behave in the polite society. I should give them my deeply-felt, whole-hearted sympathy.

The Second Hijab-Fetish Couple I had met:

– This time I was waiting at the hospital compound for my bus back home. I was doing emergency on-call on that day and by the time my shift was over, it was already quite dark outside. When I arrived at the hospital compound, I saw this attractive couple sitting on the metal bench (they were probably in the hospital visiting a relative and were waiting for their bus to head home). Again, they were not acting lewdly when I first appeared. But after a minute of noticing my presence on the bench next to theirs, they began to act all FUNNY! I couldn’t describe their exact behaviour with words since I am not quite used to describing these things…I probably wouldn’t have the proper English words for them.  The only word that comes to my mind now is, ANIMALISTIC…which I think is quite apt for a description.

We were alone. I felt really WEIRD, like I shouldn’t be there seeing these things. And while they are being BUSY, sometimes they would steal glances at me. At first, I thought they were glancing at me because they were trying to let me know that I was intruding. (Can’t you see that we need privacy here? Go wait for your bus inside the hospital, would you? We came here first, mind you!) So, I moved to the bench furthest away and looked elsewhere, giving my back to them.

But then, they started being LOUD. Well,  they were laughing out loud as though what they were  doing was a source of great hilarity. Oh my dear readers, it was most bizarre. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought they wanted as much attention directed towards them as possible.

My curiosity aroused, I stole glances at them. They began to get more enthusiastic. My goodness!!

I congratulated myself for my admirable ability to keep my jaw from swinging open. It spoke volume of my fabulous self-control.

The third couple; The fourth Couple….

Well, I could go on and on and on about this very interesting phenomena but the take-home-message is the same. When we compiled my experience with another friend of mine’s experience and another Muslim friend’s experience…the story is the same.

Certain people get horny when they see us. I feel so sorry for them. I hope this affliction would find a cure SOON because even when I am no longer here next year, the Malaysian medical students in the years below are still around. And there are still so many Saudi students too. Imagine getting horny every other half an hour! Poor people!!

ON A MORE SERIOUS NOTE….

I am sure you can guess what I am trying to get at.

You know how when you were little, you thought your parents didn’t know what you were about. You would cry and sulk, thinking they didn’t know your thrashing around  was your inspired way of getting their attention. But now that you have reached the age of maturity, you take one look at a child, and you know what is running through his mind when he smiles at you ingratiatingly as you walk into the room with a box of chocolate. Children are honest creatures…not because they never lie, but because we can always see through them.

Now, take this hijab-fetish phenomena as an example. What they are doing is a thinly disguised attempt at provoking us. I can arrive at several conclusions here:

1) They are trying to provoke us. To annoy us. Or maybe trying to impress us. Or to shock us! Basically, they are just trying to get a reaction.

2)They are trying to let us see and know how free they are compared to us. Perhaps, to invoke jealousy in us. They thought we would think “oh, how I wish I could do what they do and be free.” Little did they know what I usually think is, “My unlce’s cats have much more finesse than you at this.” That is, when I wasn’t busy trying to tune out the girl’s irritating giggles. (Oh, I hope I never giggle that way in any moment, intimate or otherwise.)

3)Maybe they are, indirectly, trying to let us know what we are missing. But instead of doing it in malice, they are doing it with a misguided notion of sympathy.

Oh well, they are making a fool of themselves.

People can talk all they like about freedom of action. But to me, that rather antagonizes the practice of reason. It discourages intellectual discussion because every issue would end with the over-used expression of ‘freedom of choice’. You go through your life in automatic mode (whatever-pleases-me-mode) without using the God-given brain to excercise your thinking process. If all actions that we do (that don’t harm others) are okay just because you are excercising your freedom, then every question in the future is settled. We don’t need to bother having an opinion or a thought about anything that doesn’t involve murder, stealing, corruption…and…well that’s pretty much it; the rest are just variation and degrees of stealing and murder.

But is that how life is supposed to be led? Is everything that doesn’t harm others are okay? Look at… the action of Jennifer Hawkins when she decided to don on her birthday suit to promote healthy body image among young girls! Puh – lease!! Only retarded people would believe such a myth!! But what happened when people question the sincerity behind her self-sacrificing and self-exploiting act? You get answers like:

a)I think her body’s great.

b)This is Australia! We are not in the Middle East. She is free to do whatever she likes.

b) If you don’t like it, you are in a wrong country.

If  people are to really talk about the heart of the matter: DOES JENNIFER HAWKINS GOING NUDE HELPS YOUNG PEOPLE WITH BODY IMAGE ISSUES? you would be able to come up with justification and pros and cons for both sides (though the perfect answer is obvious isn’t it? Sheesh). But when you start throwing ‘it’s her freedom to do so’….then the matter ends there. Like I said, this is the age when you can win an argument with that magic word: FREEDOM! Why bother thinking, right?

If you lead your life that way, you are a SAD creature!! I mean, it doesn’t matter to me what you want to do….but at least show me that you are doing something with good reason. Then, maybe I can at least respect you a little bit even if your action is against what I think is best. But when you start giving me a haughty look and utter that MAGICAL WORD, my respect for you went from neutral to non-existent!

Why is it that when a person do something because of religion, she/he is thought as oppressed and not able to think for himself/herself? But when a person do something just because she/he wants to, suddenly this person is thought as free? If you want to be fair, you should at least say that BOTH of them are not thinking. The only difference is, the former case usually ends with a better result than the latter.

So, now, religion aside, let us properly think how much of PDA (i.e public display of affection) is too much? How do you measure how much (that don’t harm others) is proper without going into culture and religion? There’s GOT to be a a benchmark. Basically, if you are not ruled by religion, you will be ruled by your society or your peer-pressure or your need to maintain a good reputation or some other things would rule you. No one is truly free!!

I don’t think it’s fair to judge people from a different culture based on your own culture. It would not yield an accurate result. So, let’s judge PDA based on the western culture because I am in the WEST and I am judging people who live in the WEST.

-Holding hands is okay, I suppose, at least in the Western society. I would still find it acceptable. (NOTE: not acceptable ANYWHERE in the Muslim society. Some people do it but when asked, the answers is the same: NOT ACCEPTABLE!!)

-Proper kissing, is still not frowned upon here. So, I guess, I will accept it in this society.

-But kissing and heated embrace that should be reserved as a foreplay in the bedroom….even the elderly lady in the bus felt disgusted by it! So, if an Australian find it terrible, it must be really bad behaviour indeed. But of course, you will always find people who would say ‘Oh, I wouldn’t do it myself but it’s their freedom to do whatever they like.’

Okay, you mean, the freedom to behave what is considered by the society as bad, I suppose.

In other words, you are propagating the freedom to behave badly, right??

Well, when somebody’s reason is sooo blindly wired, what else can you say?

I guess, I could probably just wink at the couple in heat or smile to myself at excessive PDA if I could be convinced that they are sincere while displaying their affection…but when you do it just to annoy me? Or worse, to impress me? Gosh! You are soooo SAD!!

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To be fair, most Western people in Australia are the decent sort. Especially since I am moving among the very professional medical students. They have self-respect and dignity.

As you can see (or read), from my first two stories, the HIJAB-FETISH people were the ones who did look like they have some retarded thinking process. In their case, look was not deceiving since the behaviour pretty much confirmed the suspicion that I had in mind when I gave them a look.

To me, some things are such common sense. Only ANIMALS copulate in public….even some animals have shame and would not do it when they know they are seen. And no self-respecting human beings would do it in public with the intention of being looked at while they are at it.

Unless, they are exhibitionists! In which case, I have to pity them. How sad it must be that your thrill of being with your loved one is only at its most maximum when you know someone is watching. How about just the thrill of being with someone you love, period!

I think, love-making is something so private because it’s so special that even a hint of it is not to be shared with just anyone who is not in that relationship. It shouldn’t be just for some thrill or other. The fact that you are being with each other should be thrilling enough. Lovemaking should be a non-verbal communication between two loving individuals (of opposite sex, mind you) in the privacy of their home.

To me, what I wouldn’t do in a hospital where I am known as a medical student (and therefore have to look professional) I wouldn’t do in public. Some doctors go to great length NOT to let other colleagues know that they are actually husband and wife, because they want to maintain that professionalism and that image of self-control.

And they are self-respecting enough not to let other people have a peek into their private lives.

But some people just don’t have that concept. Respect, self-control and dignity mean nothing to them.

*******

Some might question, what rights do you have to judge others?

Well, the answer lies in why you even bother dressing up to a job interview. The answer lies in why you even bother to buy those make-ups and expensive clothes. It lies in why in every occupation, there’s a dress code.

The answer is, everybody judges one another. The only difference between someone who is called judgmental and someone who is not called judgemental lies on whether or not he/she voices out loud what he/she thinks of you.

But don’t be fooled….all of us are judged every single moment of our lives.

Even if you want to make believe that no one SHOULD judge you here on earth, rest assured, you WILL be judged in the hereafter.

For the time being, you can deny it. Hopefully, it makes you feel better for anything that you choose to do in the future, no matter how outrageous, in the name of the MAGIC WORD freedom.

I guess,  this is where some people would throw me a real dirty look and go, “If you can’t accept the values of this society, then get out of Australia! Go back to your, country, towel-head!!”

Uh-huh! Impressive knowledge of what VISA is all about and what an amazing understanding of the fact that the International Students are paying a lot of money to study in Australia and such a commendable attitude to what is after all a simple business contract!! 

And may I question your statement that excessive, outrageous PDA is the values of Australia? I have seen some Australian bloggers describing PDA as very distasteful in their opinion! In them, I see some hope for the rest of the society! Furthermore, I think they are the majority! You see, most of the time, the majority of the world society is still quite decent!!

But don’t you worry! I am out of Australia, next year. I will be going back home to my beloved Malaysia.

On a second thought, maybe I won’t go back home. Maybe I will stay in Australia.

Just to annoy you!

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From The Womb To The Tomb.

“The thought of taking our final breath is something we consciously ignore and for many of us, it is nothing short of morbid.” – International Journal of Palliative Medicine.

Doctor T (my supervisor) had asked us about the Islamic Palliative Care. He asked for a source of information about how to care for the dying Muslims because all these while he has been caring for predominantly patients of Christian or Western background.

I know the practical stuff of caring for the dying in Islam, I suppose. I mean, it would be roughly similar to caring for the rest of the world population. The clinical aspects would be the same…make sure their pain is well-managed, treat the nausea and vomiting, treat all the distressing symptoms so that their final days in this world would be as comfortable as possible. And the nursing aspect would be similar to, like making sure that they take their pills at the right time, make sure that they are clean after they’ve had some explosive diarrhoea, make sure they are eating well and all that. It would all be similar with some important additions; the five daily prayers.

We have to make sure that our patients know how to modify their prayer movements while praying in bed. We should provide them with a jug for ablution (if we are caring for the Muslim patients in the Western setting), maintaining their dignity in the hospital (the aurat), reminding them about the making of the will or any unresolved financial debts and obligations, settling the matter of the will or inheritance, reconciliation and forgiveness among relatives and friends.

To enable them to pray and perform their spiritual obligation in this very critical time of their lives, we need to make sure that the dose of morphine are just enough not to cause them to be too drowsy or too sedating.

I provide here, a link to a journal article talking about Palliative Care for the Muslims, which I googled especially for my supervisor who had asked Suhaila (and she passed the job to me) to provide him with some background information about Islamic Palliative Care.

3321786-palliative-care-in-islam

How Does The Patient Feel?

Palliative Care in Islam is the easy bit. All Suhaila and I had to do was googling some Islamic website talking about all the practical stuff in caring for a pious, Muslim patient who is dying. But when Dr. T asked about how we could calm the patient’s anxiety regarding death and the life after death in an Islamic way….

Now, that’s hard!!

I know how to calm the family members of the dying. All we usually say would be “May Allah bless his soul and may he be among the pious in the hereafter. Innalillah hi wa innalillah hi rojiun.”  Or we can always say “Be patient in facing this great calamity. There’s reward for those who are patient.”

But how do we calm the dying patient?

I have never talked to a dying patient to ask about how they feel?

Are they scared? They must be!!

Are they sad? Maybe a great deal sad, having to leave their children and their friends. But if they TRULY believe about life after death and about a better place, wouldn’t they be happy too?

How about regrets and remorse for their past sin? All their past deeds would come flashing back in their minds.

And what can WE,  the professional doctors do about it? Really!! How can we calm someone’s fear of dying? I am, Alhamdulillah, still well and healthy, though that is no guarantee of my future lifespan. But even I am scared of death!

Imagine the cancer patients who knew that they got an incurable disease and is just WAITING for the final breath. How MUCH MORE scared they would become. Every time they close their eyes, they would fear that they might never open them up again. That fear could lead to insomnia because they are never calm enough to sleep properly.

All we can do is give them some Diazepam or midazolam; something for their anxiety. Or maybe some sleeping pills to sedate them. But when they wake up, the fear is still there!! It will always be there from the time they receive their diagnosis to the time they come to terms with their prognosis until their final breath!

Coupled with the fear, in some patients, would be regrets of how they have lived in the past. At times like this, they would wish to trade all their wealth for another life of living indefinitely.Or maybe they wish they could die a sudden tragic death in a traffic accident…because the suspense of waiting is too painful, too fearful and too depressing.

ONLY THOSE WITH STRONG FAITH….

I have heard stories of the pious saints…how they welcome death in their embrace because they could not wait to meet their Creator. Because they just knew that they have been assured a place in heaven. They have strong faith and death is a welcome treat in their minds.

I guess, the majority of people does not have such strong faiths then, to fear death beyond anything. That means, I am among them. Most of us, in this time and age, have the same disease that our prophet had mentioned; the disease is called Al-Wahn which is translated as  ‘love of the world, and dislike of death’. PENYAKIT CINTAKAN DUNIA DAN TAKUTKAN MATI.

This disease is eating me alive. It’s eating all of us alive, to the extent that we think it’s natural to fear death. To the extent that we just couldn’t help it.

Maybe back in the glorified days of Islam, what was natural was not to fear death. But NOW, because we are all plagued with this Al- Wahn disease, we feel that death is a natural anxiety-provoking issue. Because we are all mentally and spiritually diseased in some ways.

THE ATHEIST AND THE THEIST

Some doctors actually even argue that the atheists do better in dealing with death than the religious people. Because the atheists just do not think about heaven and hell, so naturally they feel no fear about what is going to happen to them. They just think that  once they have taken their final breath, they just become nothing. Even though the concept of feeling nothing, is actually feeling something, if you know what I mean.

However, we can even see some atheist who deal very badly with fear of death too. They could not grasp how being nothing would feel. Or sometimes they are beginning to have an attack of self-doubt. Some even find religion after a diagnosis of terminal illness!!

So, I guess, what I am trying to say is….either you are an Atheist or a Theist of whatever religion, there is no guarantee that you would not fear death. Because only those with strong conviction in their life’s philosophy  (a strong Atheist or a strong Theist) would be good at dealing with death. A strong atheist would just say “There is nothing to fear because I am going to NOTHING.” And the strong Theist would draw comfort by saying “I have been a pious person, a true believer of God and I have been good all my life and I trust the promise of my Lord so absolutely that I have nothing to fear.”

It’s those of us who are in the middle….or among the weak-hearted (the agnostic, the sometimes-nice-sometimes-naughty Muslims), we are the ones who would be assailed with anxiety and fear! Because there would be so many calculations going on in our minds:

-Ok, I did wear some provocative clothes, but that was during my younger days. Been ten years now since I wear jubah all the time. Surely, that compensates a bit.

-Ok, I did flirt with some guys back in my teenage years, but I have never cheated on my husband since I found out that I got breast cancer.

-Well, I missed a few prayers but I have given lots of charity.

You know, what I mean? The anxiety comes from knowing that we may not be good enough! Or when we are good enough, the intention was never sincere enough.

WHAT HELPS??

For those who even until their last moment still haven’t recovered from the disease of Al-Wahn, the only thing that can help them is having a good, fulfilling life. The fear will be there, of course, but it is less painful if you’ve at least sincerely attempted to be good (even if the result of the attempt is quite disappointing) or if you can at least say I have never committed the big sins (even though you have committed the small ones quite A LOT!!).

That would help!

Reconsiling with enemies and asking for forgiveness and looking for closure…..that would help!

Making sure you have all your debts paid and all your worldly affairs neat and tidy…that would ease your mind a little.

But if we are still plagued with Al-Wahn…the fear will always be there! It will go away with Midazolam and sleeping pills, but when the effects wear off, the fear would come back with a vengeance and can reduce the strongest of man to tears of shameful cowardice!

So, I am calling for you and me, to be prepared! You should not fear the cancer….you should fear the fear. Because that is the worst experience when you are facing your end of life! Morphine could take care of the pain but the waiting and the knowing that this is the end and you are not prepared but you could not stop it happening…it’s the worst feeling of all. Trust me…I have seen it in others and I have experienced the anxiety in the past! And until you have felt it, you can never understand it. When it hit you…

you will wish you were never born.

All the pleasures in life become nil! People often ask you, what would you do if today is the last day of your life. And their answers are fantastics fantasy of travelling to somewhere  they have never been to cuddling up with loved ones etc etc. I often laugh at that!  Because the truth is, if you could somehow know that today is the last day of your life, you will be too scared to do anything much!!

I leave you with this video from Khalid Yassin: From The Womb To The Tomb.

Enjoy and Reflect!