Yup, you read that right.
I am going to write another fetish story.
This time, the fetish is mine (unfortunately).
I am not a really observant person. You see, I appreciate good-looking blokes as well as the next person. Most of the time, we should lower and guard our gaze, you know what I mean? But, I am not totally BLIND!! Whatever it is, the first look (though sometimes prolonged) is permissible.
However, my observation skill only extends to his face. Unless he has some really MASSIVE, Arnold-Schwarzenegger type of body that is very hard to miss, I am not likely to give too much notice. Some small little definition or some tiny bulk you obatain from your gym work-out would not get that much attention from me.
So, you basically get it, don’t you? Unless something is so damn obvious, I am more likely to miss it. Which kind of explain my lack of sense-of-direction. To be able to navigate your way around the street, you need to be observant of the landmarks. With me, unless the landmark is of any particular importance to me in the past, I would not have remembered it even exist at so and so street.
So it stands to reason that when I am interacting with my fellow homo sapiens, I am not likely to pay any attention to any other part of their anatomy. All I need to do in order to interact effectively and efficiently is to recognize who I am talking to. And I can do that well enough by concentrating on their face. That way, I can also gain as much satisfaction by noting how their face expression change as I rebuke them with my sarcastic repartee when they get too rude with me.
But lately, I was assailed with a most annoying affliction. Almost a fetish! I was horrified, to say in the least, when I found myself becoming more and more aware of how extensive, how long, how beautiful, how GREEN, how BOUNCY someone’s veins are! I would look at their arms and their hands and notice the longing that I felt deep within.
This longing could not be satisfied by any other way other than…
To put a 14 gauge cannula inside their veins…
That, dear readers, would be the utmost satisfaction; it would be ALMOST heaven!
I blame my new-found fetish on my ICU/Anesthesia rotation. As a 5th year medical student, I was expected to do as much cannulation as possible. To those who don’t know what canulation is, you can google it up. Basically cannulation is done by inserting a device (called cannulas) inside your veins so that you can administer fluids or bloods into the body. Basically, you need to have cannulation done if you want to give blood transfusion to someone.
In order to do an effective cannulation, you’ve got to find a good vein. A drug addict would be much better at this than me. Finding a good vein to give fluid is just like finding a good vein to inject drugs or finding a good vein to get blood sample for a blood test. You can’t just stab anyone anywhere on their muscles or adipose tissue to get some blood (eventhough stabbing does produce some blood).
After having found a good vein, you should then inject the needle into the veins and then advance the small plastic tube inside the veins before drawing out the needle. You can then connect the cannula with a bag of IV fluid or a bag of blood and supply them to the patient.
Cannulation is THE MOST commonly done procedure in the medical field, especially in the hospital setting. So, acquiring the skill for it is most vital for a 5th year medical student who would, insya Allah, graduate as a doctor in one more year. But I am finding it deuced difficult!
1)Most of the patients who are hospitalized are really sick people. And Australia is an aging population. So you can expect a lot of elderlies with really leathery skin and collapsing veins. Even after 5 minutes of leaving the tourniquet on, it was still confoundingly difficult to get a good vein.
2)The Australians have now beaten their Americans sisters and brothers in terms of body mass index. They are now leading the world when it comes to the much talked-about obesity pandemic. Basically, the amount of adipose tissue obscuring your veins determines how hard it would be for the doctor to find a good vein. In layman terms, the fatter you are, the harder it would be to cannulate you. And you will experience several jabs of unsuccessful cannulation before they can finally lodge the cannula in a secure manner. Of course, the level of skills of the the ‘cannula-tor’ also plays a part in all these. As a 5th year medical student, my skill hovers around ‘mediocre’. God!
3)Most women hate bulging veins…it’s ugly. You want your hands to look smooth and silky and all that. But it makes it soooo hard to get a good venous access. When I was in my teenage years, my hands were really smooth…no veins at all because excercising was not exactly my thing. And because I loved my food a lot too, so my hands were not very venous-sy. I was proud of it. But as I grew older, I moved to OZ, and there have been many occasions when I have to pack and unpack my stuff from the uni hall and moved them to the storage and sometimes helping my other friends moving around…I have been using a lot of muscles in my arms. Since then, I have had very nice veins to show everyone. So the take home message is: excercise is the key!! You don’t need obviously bulging veins, just a little bit of a bulge would do! It would make your doctor’s life soo much easier.
I have had very few successful cannulation since I began the rotation. Most of my attempts were unsuccessful and I had to let my registrars or my intern to do it.
Like I said, the problem is not in jabbing the patient. All you have to do is advance the needle far enough into the vein to get a flashback. The problem is in getting a good vein in the first place. Of course, skillfull medical practitioners would find it increasingly easier over the years but even then, they would appreciate good veins, regardless.
Below is the picture of a good vein! You’ve got to love them!
Look at the veins above! Beautifully bulged, splendidly bouncy, extensively long, impressively obvious!! I would have such a grand time cannulating those gorgeous veins! Ahh…I can almost feel my fetish attack.
And here’s an example of difficult veins:
Now, in contrast, the veins above were atrocious, guaranteed to make my life teribbly hard trying to get a venous access. Too small, too spidery rather than straight and I might need multiple attempts at jabbing them. It’s hellish for BOTH the doctor and the patient; the doctor has to endure the frustration and the embarrassment of having to do these mutiple times and the patient just has to endure the pain of the needles more than once.
So, you see, I have my own definition of what makes someone beautiful. I don’t care how handsome your face is. I don’t have a care about how muscular your arms are. But your veins better be gorgeous!!
I first realized I had this fetish when I got back in NC after my rotation and started noticing my housemate’s splendid veins, something I have never noticed about her before. And since then, I could not stop noticing.
I hereby declare that I am an obsessive venous-fetish medical student! Those with good veins better hide their arms around me. Otherwise beware the cannula attack!