I did not write a single blog post last month because I was suffering from a severe form of writer’s block. I just didn’t have the mood to give words to my thoughts and my emotions because no words would be able to describe them accurately enough. I am just too bloody furious at the politicians! And the phrase ‘bloody furious’ doesn’t even cover the whole range and depth of my REAL feelings towards these abominable societal leeches.
I wanted to be a journalist, once upon a time. But if journalism is my livelihood, I probably won’t make ends meet for months on end whenever I am suffering from writer’s block.
A writer must feel inspired enough in order to write. If they don’t feel anything enough or if their minds are not engaged enough, their writings would come out bland, boring, plain uninteresting… just blergh. If you don’t feel enough and your mind is not stimulated enough, why bother giving them any form of wordy description, a writer would think? Yup… why even bother!
Only a fellow Alor Setarian would probably understand. As you guys probably know, Alor Setar was recently placed under TEMCO (Targeted Enhanced Movement Control Order) for 2 weeks (from 11/9/2020 to 25/09/2020) courtesy of the flaring up of Covid-19 cases in the community as well as among healthcare workers (Thank you SO MUCH, Pak Cik Sivagangga, for not complying with quarantine rules. I have a suspicion that other clusters in Kedah sprung up from Cluster Sivagangga too, somehow. Kedah was a green zone for a few months before this pak cik returned from Sivagangga and then recklessly ignored quarantine instructions.)
In my department, due to the Covid-19 impact on healthcare workers, we are swamped with tele-psychosupport work, Psychological First Aid work (and the paperwork related to both) on top of our usual ward and clinic routine. At the same time, we are also involved in the preparation and discussion of the World Mental Health Day. So by the time I get home from work these days, I really just want to rest (bingeing on Netflix and You Tube videos) and sleep.
I don’t get much reading done for the past few weeks because I prioritize sleep whenever I am at home. At work, I try to make use of some of the limited free time that I have in between clinic activities to read something good… because I know I will probably be too tired to pick up a book once I get home. Whenever I did pick up a book at home these days, I dozed off. This was such a new experience to me… dozing off while reading a book that I was supposed to enjoy! Reading a book is supposed to refresh me! Or Is this me in the midst of an ageing process? Hahah. Daunting thought, that.
I enjoy my work guys, don’t get me wrong. As a psychiatry doctor, I find my work wholly stimulating and very satisfying. Of course there are annoyances in between (just like in any other job) but those are the things that spice up your working life and give it a semblance of a sense of adventure, right?
And I thought of this Covid-19 situation as something adventurous, at first. I was quite ready to go volunteering and become a front liner to help my hometown. I was optimistic that this ghastly Covid-19 situation will settle down. (Well, I have always been optimistic even as I am criticizing and complaining about anything haha. I believe that if I complain persistently enough and work hard enough, Insya Allah, I can get what I want. Not because I am selfish in relentlessly wanting what I want… but because I happen to feel like what I want is the right thing to want, anyway. Know what I mean? LOL. I have mentioned before that sometimes I am too optimistic that I disappoint myself and it is my own fault.)
But JUST when our TEMCO has been lifted, suddenly cases flare up again… this time from kluster Tembok in Penjara Alor Setar (which is VERY near to my workplace). And lurking sinisterly in the background is the possibility that the cluster PRNSabah will be making its ugly appearance soon. WHEN will this end? My optimism is no longer justified now because I failed to take into account one crucial factor in all these. That crucial factor being: the fact that we are saddled by selfish, stupid politicians who do not care about the welfare of the rakyat!
I just despise politicians sometimes! (Okay… most of the time, actually! LOL.)
My mom keeps on whining about how long she hasn’t seen her children and grandchildren (actually it has only been one month, lol. But my mom saw her grandchildren and children almost every week, if not every few days, before this whole fiasco. Either we go to our mom’s house or she would come to our house. So this is still an adjustment to her). I keep my own house separate from my parents and during this time of ravaging chaos, I refrain from visiting them. My younger sister Alida and her children who live in Jitra could not come to Alor Setar as frequently as usual because it was TEMCO at that time. But even when TEMCO has already been lifted now, Alor Setar is still a red zone with the recent emergent of cluster Tembok. Of course Alida would not come to Alor Setar to bring her children to see their doting grandmother whose house is also very near to the area of cluster Tembok.
Now it is a waiting game to see how much havoc will PRN Sabah wreaked on us on top of what is already a horrifying burden to our frontliners.
And in our whatsapp group my mom keeps saying “Bila lah nak boleh jumpa anak-anak dengan cucu ni? Lepas habis satu kluster, mai kluster lain pula dah.”
I really don’t know, mom. Let’s pose this question to the politicians!
Tone Deaf Politicians
Some politicians are really tone deaf and they come up with ludicrous statements to justify their lusts for position, power and wealth. Case in point is Anwar Ibrahim.
In the midst of Covid-19 pandemic, leaders should not be focusing on who got how much support to become the next PM. Politicians are sooooo disconnected to the suffering of the people when they play political game even during this uncertain and trying time.
Shame on you, politicians!
I feel so nauseated thinking of Anwar Ibrahim as a PM that my writer’s block was instantly healed (or cured enough) to have come up with a poem below. You see…I rarely write poetry and when I do, it is usually of religious theme and in English. Because I believe that religious poems are evergreen and motivating and therefore it would be worth my time and effort. This is the first time (julung-julung kalinya!) I wrote a poetry in Malay based on a POLITICAL theme. It is not a very good poem… but I am proud of myself nevertheless for being able to penetrate through the wall of my writer’s block somehow. (In a way, thanks to Anwar Ibrahim and all the disgusting frog-leaping politicians who are causing endless suffering to the rakyats that I am able to recover from a severe bout of the dreaded writer’s block.)
The title of my poem is Muntah Hijau (hahaha… bear with me guys. I know that ‘Muntah Hijau” is a weird title for a poem but that is exactly what I am feeling…Like I will be projectile-vomiting bilious stomach content any time soon at the slightest provocation in the form of nonsensical political news *sigh*):
Muntah HijauBerlalu sudah zaman berzaman Timbul tenggelammu terus-terusan Memutih sudah ubunmu yang hitam Namun gelap lagi hatimu yang kelam.Tidak sabarmu tetaplah begitu Rakus jawatan terlalu melulu Tiadalah rakyat dalam fikiranmu Tampuk kuasa itu tetap kau mahu.Aduan rakyat pekakkan telingamu Kegelisahan rakyat butakan hatimu Kesusahan rakyat kaburkan matamu Kini jelas terserlah sudah ku tahu Covid-19 tiada apa lagi untukku Kerna bahaya lagi virus bawaanmu.Membayangkan tampuk pimpinan di tangan engkau Memikirkan katak politik yang engkau pukau Menggambarkan jawatan itu menjadi milik kau Ah, lidah ku hanyir, ku muntah hijau.
No Books of The Month This Time; Just You Tube Channels of The Month!
I am not reviewing any book this time because I haven’t finished any book this month. I am still in the middle of reading two books simultaneously, both are non-fiction. I have only read some short stories and reread some of my favourite literatures throughout the month of September. So I really have no book worthy enough for reviews this time. Pathetic, I know.
But I have been occupied with a lot of work-related stuff including the stuff for World Mental Health Day (I was assigned to be in the WMHD video team; Wait and see our videos which I will upload soon on Facebook! Lol) and also preparing for my next posting (which may or may not be postponed due to the Covid-19 situation *sigh*). Gosh… last month was just not the best of time for me and most doctors in Kedah.
However, I do have some You Tube channels to recommend for you guys to follow if you are into reading books and into productive efficient lifestyle.
The first one is a You Tube Channel by Ali Abdal. He is a junior doctor in the UK who is now taking one year off to focus on other non-medical aspects of his life (He is a successful Youtuber with 1.11 M subscribers to date). He was a Cambridge top medical graduate in his medical student days and used to make videos of his life as a medical student. Subsequently he made you tube videos about his life as a junior doctor. Now, he is focusing more on the business side of things. He is productive, efficient, well-read, and very tech-savvy. I love watching his videos especially when he talks about books recommendation. I have been following him for many months already and I do recommend that we emulate his productive lifestyle. If you are a medical student, you especially should check out his old videos in which he talked about the most effective way to learn and retain information while studying. Very illuminating! Below is one of his amazing videos, just to give you a taste of his engaging content.
The second You Tube channel I only just recently discovered belongs to R.C Waldun, who was initially an engineering student but later on decided to pursue writing, literature and philosophy. He has already self-published one book (The Learned Disguise) which I hope to one day read. He talks about books a lot in his channel. If you are an avid reader and an aspiring deep thinker, you will love his channel. And he is also an INTJ…no wonder I can relate to his thoughts so well. Below is one of his videos that I enjoy. Do check it out!
Until next time, my dear readers. May Allah save our country from the destruction of evil politicians who are unleashing their lusts for power upon all of us. May Allah protect all of us from being sucked dry by their relentless leeching of our life’s blood. Amen, Ya Rabb.