Bullying of HOs: My Rebuttals

 

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Disclaimer:

The article below originated from my Facebook post (or rants, hahha) which I had published on the 30th of September 2018. In my own defense, I was provoked into writing all these… by various people in my newsfeed who seemed to be confused on what exactly the real issue was. I was also provoked by one specialist (in another field, from another department of another hospital) who had Whatsapped me about what I had written regarding HO issues in the past. It really made me feel like, “Ugh, you guys are soooo skewed! I must write even more regarding HO issues if this is the level of confusion and misunderstanding that the medical society is labouring under”. And of course I never let any provocation go unanswered, especially if I believe I am right. I made my point across to the specialist in our Whatsapp messages. In the end of the day, we never reached any agreement. (The specialist shouldn’t have whatsapped me…she gave me even MORE provocation, ideas and incentive to write. LOL! Sorry, you silap besar if you think I will stop writing just because you Whatsapped me. Nothing personal… I am just that way; I will defend what I believe as right. And I have been consistent in championing HO issues since I was a houseman… ni bukan benda baru for me. It just so happens that you have different goals than me. Sorry.)

Imagine my surprise when what I had written below got moderate amount of shares and quite a lot of likes in Facebook. It wasn’t viral or anything (Just 61 shares and around 180 likes; but that is STILL quite unusual for me laaa. I am a nobody and I don’t even have that much followers in the social media. I screened all friend requests quite strictly). But it gave me hope that there are many SILENT SUPPORTERS of HO issues, who also think and believe the way I think and believe, but they are simply too tired to speak up or fight all these while. So I have decided to transfer the content of my facebook post into this blog  for easier access in the future (as part of my personal archive). In the future, should I encounter anymore asinine and arrogant remarks about HOs, I can simply copy-paste the relevant content from this post and rebut the issue without having to think too much. 

The truth is, had I known that people would be sharing this Facebook post in this manner, I would probably make more effort to write with a little bit more sophistication. As you can see, the post below is not in my usual style… there is just too much of a mixture between Malay and English, making the tatabahasa and grammar not exactly all that splendid. But I guess, my facebook status wasn’t shared because of its language or literary merit hahha… but because of the truth of the content. When you say things sincerely and truthfully, it will get through to people, Insya Allah. I believe that MOST people feel the same way that I did, but they may not have the energy to rant like I did. Haha. That’s why when I finally lose my patience and wrote all these on Facebook, people liked and shared this. It was surprising to me too, to be honest.

Please understand that I am NOT condoning lazy/MIA/irresponsible housemen. I am just opposed to BULLYING!

THAT is the issue. Please FOCUS!

****

FACEBOOK POST ON The 30th OF SEPTEMBER 2018 

Kita cakap isu BULI. Siapakah yang begitu ‘sick-minded’ yang cuba condone isu buli ni? Isu buli ini melangkaui isu “assobiyah department” atau “solidariti untuk nama baik hospital kami” atau “gang kementerian kami”.

Siapa-siapa sahaja TIDAK PATUT dibuli di MANA-MANA tempat sekali pun.

Dan saya berasa sangat pelik dengan golongan yang cuba menangguk di air keruh apabila isu HO ni tengah flare up. Ada yang tiba-tiba nak share pasal Housemanship dia dulu “enjoy”. Ada yang tiba-tiba nak cakap “Eh, aku dulu ok ja time HO.” Ada yang cuba menidakkan BULI yang berlaku dengan menyatakan “Eh, takkanlah tak ada specialist yang baik? Eh takkanlah tak ada MO yang best? Eh takkanlah tak ada posting yang best? Ke awak yang berperwatakan negatif?”

JOKE!!

***

Bayangkan ini sekolah dan seorang murid menyatakan yang dia kena buli atau diliwat oleh gurunya atau seniornya.

Adakah RELEVAN dan “MAKE SENSE” untuk seseorang menyatakan:

1)”Eh, sekolah aku tak ada isu buli pun.” (sama macam orang yang menyatakan hospital aku ok ja.)
-Itu sekolah kau! Bukan sekolah dia.Tak relevan!

2) “Eh aku ok ja. Tak kena liwat pun dengan guru/senior. Mungkin kau ja yang tak reti lawan.” (sama seperti golongan yang menyatakan HO tu yang lembik).
-Kau rasa pembuli ada masa ke untuk buli semua orang kat sekolah tu? Pembuli, by characteristic, memang pengecut dan akan buli orang yang lebih lemah sahaja. Just because pembuli tak buli kau, doesn’t mean kau patut condone bullying tu dengan kata-kata yang tak relevan seperti itu.

3) “Eh takkanlah tak ada guru/senior yang baik langsung dalam sekolah tu? Kenapa kamu nak fokus kat pembuli tu saja?” (sama macam golongan yang mengatakan “Takkanlah tak ada specialist/MO yang baik?”)
– Inilah statement yang paling KELAKAR kalau ia tidak TERLALU PATHETIC. Memang nampak sangat kau tak faham isu. Pembuli walaupun SATU, masih NOT JUSTIFIED untuk ia berlaku. Sebab orang lain hanya memandang dan tidak halang pembulian itu berlaku! Sebab itu ia berlaku kepada mangsa itu in the first place! Please think!
-Kalau isunya adalah tribute to good specialists, yes, I will create a long article to do so. Nak buat karangan, isinya kena ikut tajuklah kan? Tapi kalau tajuknya adalah pembulian, apa hal pula aku nak bawa masuk isi tak relevan ni? I don’t understand how you utilize your mind!

4)”Eh, aku pun sekolah tu juga. Tapi aku berjaya saja habiskan syllabus sampai darjah enam. Kawan aku tu pula dengan accident dan patah kaki… tapi semangat dia kuat untuk habiskan belajar.”
-Baguslah anda habiskan syllabus anda walaupun anda accident patah riuk dan patah kaki. STILL!! Tak relevan! Korang memang tak faham isu ek? Pelajar patah kaki/tangan/ribs kerana ACCIDENT memang kebanyakannya habis study! So what?? Mangsa BULI walaupun TIDAK PATAH JARI ramai yang berhenti daripada sekolah! School refusal disebabkan BULI adalah COMMON! Seriously… what were you thinking when you posted about how seorang HO yang accident pun boleh complete housemanship? What are you trying to say? Yang selagi tak patah kaki, orang kena buli patut swallow the bullying as a norm? What EXACTLY are you propagating here?

5) “Kenapa aku tak kena liwat dan tak kena buli pun? Senior tu ok ja dengan aku.” (aku baik ja dengan specialist/MO tu. Aku tak kena buli pun.)
– Pembuli pun ada geng dan kawan-kawan dia. Dia tak buli kau tapi dia buli orang lain! What are you trying to say? Yang kau ni hebat sebab kau tak kena dengan dia dan boleh geng dengan dia? heh??

6) “Dia kenalah tough. Dia kena lawan balik.”
-Ya Allah! Tahukah anda isu buli di sekolah hanya berlaku kepada golongan yang memang ada ‘vulnerability’. Kanak-kanak autisme senang dibuli. Kanak-kanak ADHD akan dipulaukan! Kanak-kanak yang fizikalnya berbeza akan diejek-ejek. Kamu tough, good for you! Tapi itu tak bermakna kamu berlaku adil ketika kamu menidakkan kejadian buli yang berlaku kepada orang lain.
-Dan kalau semua orang perangai macam aku yang akan balas balik semua kata-kata, yang akan lawan semula dan tak akan berhenti melawan balik, memanglah pembuli pun akan stop buli. That is not the issue kan?!
-The issue is: Adakah kalau orang itu lemah, it is justified untuk kita PIJAK mereka? THAT is the issue! Get it?

***

Since ramai pula yang nak menangguk di air keruh untuk share their housemanship days to show “how tough I was.” dan siap nak buat tribute to my good MOs/Specialist:

Let me tell you this. Memang ramai MOs dan specialist yang baik. Just like ramai cikgu-cikgu di sekolah yang baik. Tapi itu TIDAK JUSTIFY untuk kita kata pembulian tidak berlaku atau patut dihalalkan. NOT JUSTIFIED. Pembulian yang berlaku walaupun hanya SEKALI dan terhadap hanya SATU MANGSA yang dilakukan oleh SATU PREDATOR, masih tidak justified!

Faham tak isu?

Kepada yang bertanya, pasal posting yang best-best: Dengar sini! Isu itu tidak relevan dan sebab itu aku tak fokus pasal tu. But since you asked, let me be really honest and clear about this in a general way:

Untuk KEBANYAKAN HOs, diorang boleh rasa okey dalam SEMUA POSTING kecuali mereka punya FIRST POSTING.

Kenapa? Sebab sewaktu mereka first posting mereka paling vulnerable. Dan macam yang saya sudah nyatakan, orang paling senang kena buli apabila mereka ada ‘vulnerability’. Pada waktu itu mereka masih lambat, masih nak belajar sistem, masih nak kena belajar macam mana nak review patient. Mereka tidak kisah ditegur tapi bukan diherdik.

You boleh katakan kepada seorang HO “Adik, kenapa you tulis lambat sangat ni? You tak dengar ke plan yang I cakap tadi? Potong ni. Tulis semula.” Kata-kata sebegini, is totally a fair admonishment, in my opinion. Ini okey! Semua orang yang reasonable can still accept this.

TETAPI!! Ia adalah membuli apabila you menjerit-jerit di wad dan menyatakan “Adik!! You ni otak lembab dah ada Alzheimer ke? Ke you ni PEKAK? I cakap apa tadi? You tulis apa ni! Lembap!” sambil ketuk meja (atau ketuk kepala?)

Beza kan?

Aku memang seorang yang tegas dan outspoken! Tapi I treat everyone equally regardless of their position. Aku bukan tegas mempertahankan pendapat hanya dengan orang bawahan (dengan orang atasan pun aku behave the same way). Unlike pembuli, I am not a coward who pick and choose ONLY vulnerable victims. When I have things I want to say, I say it exactly the same way to every one. Because I know that should anyone try to oppress my rights, NEGARA KITA ADA UNDANG-UNDANG.

Dan percayalah cakap aku yang KEBANYAKAN HOs akan enjoy diorang punya 4th, 5th and 6th posting. Sebab mereka sudah tidak vulnerable pada waktu itu. Jadi jika kamu masuk posting tertentu dan kamu kata kamu enjoy posting itu (seolah-olah nak menidakkan yang posting itu telah membuli first posters lain yang vulnerable), kamu memang tidak faham isu. Sedih!

Aku pun boleh cakap aku enjoy this posting or that posting. Tapi apakah relevannya untuk aku menyatakan kepada orang yang tengah dibuli di posting itu yang “aku dulu enjoy posting tu.” Adakah aku nak tunjuk aku tough… padahal I was only lucky because when I was in that posting, I was already a senior and had been familiar with the system and had known perfectly well how to defend myself.

But since you have asked, I will let you know that I enjoyed other postings too but OF COURSE I enjoyed ED the most…. I was a 6th poster at that time. But as I said, it is NOT RELEVANT.

***

Kepada yang menyatakan “Tapi ada HO malas. Ada HO MIA. Ada HO yang EL.”

Sama juga. Ada pelajar yang malas di sekolah/ pelajar nakal/ pelajar tak buat kerja sekolah. Takkan cikgu tu justified kalau dia TAMPAR atau LIWAT murid tu?? Use your mind when you talk!

Let the system flush them out! Kenapa pula kamu nak tolong jadi tukang samseng nak mengubah mereka? Terminatelah HO tu. Go through the channel and the system. Tak payah pun nak herdik atau nak buli mereka. Let the system deal with them.

Ada yang pandai cakap yang bila kita mahu complain, sila go through the channel. Jadi, jika kamu pun tak puas hati dengan HO punya performance, please go through the system and the channel. Jangan condone maki dan buli in the name of HO training!

***

Kepada yang mempersoalkan kenapa sesetengah orang tidak mahu join cara lain untuk mengubah keadaan. Kenapa tak join MMA and so on and so forth. Kenapa nak kena cakap dalam Facebook… welll…

I have written a blog post about it. Here is the link:

https://afizaazmee.wordpress.com/…/the-plot-from-the-maste…/

Kalau berminat boleh baca di situ… tapi saya rasa tak perlu ulas panjang benda ni di sini.

***

Adakah kamu berfikir dengan ‘share positive vibes’ atau ‘share orang lain punya pengalaman yang accident patah riuk tapi survive housemanship’ menyebabkan orang lain akan rasa pembulian ni ok? Kalau itu yang kamu fikir, kamu silap besar.

The more you do this, the more people will be angry! And the more they will fight and the more they will reveal. Seriously… jangan cuba condone bullying dengan isu-isu yang tidak relevan. Kamu hanya akan menyebabkan aku dan orang-orang macam aku menjadi lebih marah, lebih outspoken dan lebih menentang.

Jika kamu seorang yang ‘tough, outspoken, berani melawan’ gunakannya untuk protect orang lain. Bukan untuk bangga diri sendiri dah lepas.

Seseorang yang dibuli BERHAK untuk menuntut keadilan. Bukan tempat kamu untuk suruh dia redha. Redha itu hak dia dan dia boleh buat jika dia nak. Tapi jika dia tak nak, itu HAK dia.

Dan TANGGUNGJAWAB kita untuk memberikan keadilan kepadanya.

***

And I love this quote that Nurhafizoh Hussin had reminded me of:

“There are 3 things that cannot be long hidden : the sun,the moon and the truth”

***

Nota Kaki:
I have NO CONFLICT OF INTEREST in writing this. I am just a lowly MO in a department who I know has never bullied anyone. I am not a houseman yang dapat benefit dari apa yang aku tulis. Dan aku bukan houseman yang perlu membodek-bodek untuk survive. So aku tidak rasa ada keperluan untuk share how much I “enjoy” this posting or that posting (bukan sebab aku tak enjoy, tapi sebab ianya TAK RELEVAN dalam isu bullying). Aku pun bukan pakar-pakar yang risau nama department tertentu terjejas ke apa ke. Dan aku bukan pengarah hospital mana-mana nak kena jaga nama hospital.

So, I have NO CONFLICT OF INTEREST in writing this. My interest has always been in upholding social justice! When it comes to universal values of justice, EVERYONE should fight for it regardless of who they are in the society and what they are working as. Tolong jadi objektif.

Ini isu BULI.

Ia boleh berlaku di mana-mana tempat dan kepada ANAK ANDA SENDIRI di sekolah-sekolah. Fight on issues. Jangan ingat semua benda adalah tentang kamu atau department kamu atau hospital kamu atau kementerian kamu. It is time to say #NOtoBullying

I rest my case.

 

-THE END OF FACEBOOK POST-

***

keep-calm-but-this-girl-is-on-fire-1

See how MUCH I ranted on Facebook that day!Haha. I didn’t think anyone would even care that much to share this. I was pleasantly surprised when many people actually agree with me…  they are the silent majority. If this small effort of mine can create just a slight ripple effect in championing HO issues, then I am more than satisfied. Alhamdulillah! My objective is to create awareness among our medical society to say #NOtoBULLYING.

I want them to be CLEAR-MINDED on what the issue really is. Just because we DO NOT CONDONE BULLYING does NOT mean that we condone our HOs to be slackers!

I couldn’t tolerate slackers myself! I will totally ‘bambu’ orang yang tak buat kerja properly! I will call out on orang yang nak mengelat! If I ever become a HOD, I will say to the slacker in my department: “If you want to be in my department, you better buck up. I am willing to guide you on what you have to improve, but I am going to watch and see whether or not you take note and act on my guidance.” I will state my point precisely without shouting, maki or buli. I will be VERY FIRM. Slackers know that they cannot get away doing cincai work with me (but most of the time, I prefer working alone, anyway). I have spoken up against people who like to ‘mengelat kerja’… there are plenty of lazy people like that in any department, even in my own! Semua department sama saja. Ada orang yang suka tolak kerja; ada orang yang suka tolak tengok kes, ada yang suka tolak giliran kerja/presentation/audit. When their behaviour affects me or my friends, memang diorang akan kena dengan aku! I will totally speak up and point out that you are a slacker and you better do your work properly without troubling others!

When you do your work, please try to do it right! You can make mistake, but admit that mistake and improve! Jangan cuba defend your mistake/laziness/slacking with ‘ayat-ayat agama’ or alasan-alasan tidak munasabah untuk tolak kerja kepada orang lain. Dan aku akan lagi bengang bila aku dah point out your slacking, tetapi kau berani suruh aku ‘sabar or relax’! Huh? THAT will totally push my red button and I will breathe fire and vomit inferno. So, be warned.

dragon breathe fire
My Red Button: people using religious image or religious justification to cover up their own shortcomings! You will witness my dramatic transformation into a fire-breathing dragon. Haha.

I am very objective. I don’t condone HOs being bullied. But if the HOs in my department are consistently poor in their performance, I will personally make it my life mission to remove those HOs out of my department if I were the HOD or the specialist. Even as an MO, HOs know that they cannot take advantage of my kindness because I am quite firm in what I want them to do without ever having to raise my voice. I am not what one would describe as nice or soft spoken…. but I am fair. And when I have things to say, I will say it to you regardless of whether you are a HO/MO/specialist/consultant. I will say it because it is the truth, as I see it. So if you disagree with me, you can rebut me… I  welcome the opportunity to see things from your perspective. But what I will NOT do is LIE or ‘BODEK’, pretending that I agree with your opinion just because you are a specialist/consultant/pengarah hospital or whatever. Everyone is entitled to their opinion regardless of who they are in the society.  And we should celebrate that.

I have no personal interest in you as a person…. you can be anyone…. but if injustice happens to you and you seek my help, I will be with you when you fight. I believe it is my responsibility to help you if I know you have been subjected to unfair treatment or abuse. ANY decent human being should help an oppressed person. That is everybody’s responsibility in the society.

But if YOU are the source of injustice, even if you are my friend, I will speak up against you. #SorryNotSorry 

So, I know how some of my Facebook friends might feel when they read my facebook status (because some of them were the ones yang tiba-tiba nak share how tough they were as a houseman. Padahal aku pernah HO dengan kau… kau tak hebat mana pun. Kau pun sama-sama kutuk MO/specialist kat pantry…. tiba-tiba kau boleh pula buat-buat lupa, nak bodek-bodek, nak buat tribute to good MOs and specialist apabila orang tengah cakap isu buli! What exactly was your intention?? Macamlah kau dulu tak pernah marah dengan specialist/MOs yang buli kau. Apahal tiba-tiba kau nak hipokrit ni?! Ah, I just can’t stand hypocrisy… especially when it is sprinkled with kata-kata budget alim. Haih… *shakes head*)

At the end of the day, my FIRST loyalty is to my principle. Other things are always secondary. Respect my principles…  then we can be friends. Otherwise, I am more than happy to not associate myself with you. I have other friends with similar goals, similar principles and similar ethics. If you are wrong, you are wrong! I will call you out on it… nothing personal. But if you take it personally, we can go our separate ways. Obviously, we are not meant to sit on the same table because we have different goals and different objectives.

I don’t really mind.

#ToYouIsYourWay

#ToMeIsMine

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