The Gentle(wo)men Of Our Time!

I have two declarations to make on this blessed day.

Here comes my first declaration.

I hereby, declare myself to be quite the happiest person alive today.

You see, I am on an eight days straight holiday, Alhamdulillah. Eight straight days will pass in a rush, but while it last, I will enjoy the free time to the max.

A lot of people were surprised when I told them that I still have eight days of my end of posting leave.

“Afiza, hang tak pernah ambil cuti ka sepanjang empat bulan ni?”

I nodded, proudly.


But wait a minute. What have I got to be proud of? My not taking any leave has nothing to do with me.

When you think about it, my not taking any leave in medical is actually a testimonial to how good medical posting has been treating me. Medical Department should be proud.

I didn’t have to take any leave with medical; I like their shifts. I am more than content with my post night off as well as the free time that I have during my pre-night shift.

I didn’t have to take any leave in medical; I like the MOs and the specialists.

I didn’t have to take any leave in medical; my colleagues were awesome to work with. No one has yet to go EL on me. Thank God.

I’m gonna miss medical. I am gonna miss their lady-like and gentlemanly ways. It will be hard (if not impossible) for other postings to compete with the beautiful manners of the MOs and specialists in medical. Medical posting proves to me that we can learn just as much (if not more) without being screamed at or humiliated upon. Thank you, medical,for proving me right all along.

That brings me to my second declaration of the day.

I hereby, declare that the medical department is coolness personified.


I feel like I was treated as adult in medical. Our point of views are listened and heard.

I was in medical during the time when we were suffering from a severe shortage of housemen. There were no new first-posters coming in and at the same time, the old housemen who were due to change postings had already done medical previously.  There was one time when we were left with only 25 housemen. And remember too, that medical is quite the busiest department simply because most patients in the hospital will be medical patients.

Because of the severe lack of housemen, there was one time when we need to go back to being on-call (but with a more humane change compared to the previous on-call style. We could go back at 8 am the next day). Meetings were organized to talk about how to manage our housemanship resources and allocations. Our views and opinions as to how we wanted to work were being heard. We got to vote on the suggestions too! And I couldn’t help but thought that this was charmingly democratic.

Yes, we felt like we were treated as adults.

I didn’t feel like I have to shut my mouth from giving opinions. I didn’t feel like they were going to keep on bringing up whatever mistakes I had done weeeeeeeeeeeeks ago and keep harping on it.

They were no personal attack.

Whatever little scolding I receiveed were JUST and WARRANTED.

And they were no swear words. I mean, I didn’t hear the F word being freely uttered shamelessly whenever they talked.

For example, I didn’t hear “Where the F*** is the patient’s f**king drug chart? Where the F*** is everything when I F**king need it?”

I HATE the F word. No one should be allowed to use it in public and feel proud while saying it. No one should get away from being able to say it without having incurred the license to be looked upon like dirt. No one should feel like they can say that word and still deserve respect. Not even surgeons.  Not even consultants. Not even specialists.  Let alone MOs and HOs.

Not even ANYONE, period.

I have this rule in life that says, “What you won’t say in the presence of your parents, your daughter, your wives or in respected companies, you shouldn’t say those to anyone at all.”

Just imagine your parents listening to you using such coarse words in every sentence after every other word!  I imagine my parents would pinch my ear and then scrub my mouth with povidone and 70% alcohol solution…and that is if they could not find sterilizing equipments, FIRST. Not only it constitutes bad behavior, indeed, but it also speaks volumes of the (SEVERELY!!) limited nature of your vocabulary.


Is your English THAT mediocre? Do you not have any other adjectives in your brain? The word F*** is the best you can come up with?  Really??

Will you allow me to donate you a dictionary? No, I won’t even ask you to thank me. It will be MY pleasure.

I abhorred hearing the F word in my presence. I hate the lack-of-respect that person has shown towards me. I hate even more the fact that the person does not respect himself/herself. If you respect yourself you will NOT deign to blemish your soul with dirty words.

The medical world consists of people who are supposed to be altruistic and brilliant. Frequent swearing should not be included as acceptable conduct in this refined cycle.


When I was in Australia, the Australians do swear.  A LOT!

But when I was around and heard those words, the guys actually turned towards me, blushed and apologized.

“Sorry, Afiza. Slip of the tongue. Shouldn’t have said those words when a lady is around,” They would say and wink.

Ah…palpitations and fast AF.

Such gentlemen! And they treated us Malaysians like ladies. They didn’t swear in our presence. They took one look at our hijab, and they thought we were all that was angelic and good. Hahhah.

When they apologized to me, I thought it was most weird. At that time, I did not even mind, you see.  It was THEM who were more sensitive than I. I didn’t know why I didn’t mind. Probably because I’d already accepted that as part of their culture. Probably because I expected that sort of behaviour from them. What I didn’t expect was for them apologize to me afterwards. It positively warmed my heart, my dear readers.

But when I am back in Malaysia, I hear the Malaysian guys (and some girls) swearing like the Oxford dictionary has no other adjectives, comprising of only 10 pages thin…..and NO APOLOGY? I was aghast!! I was so used to hearing people apologize after swearing, that I was appalled and astounded that I didn’t receive any in Malaysia. And then, I was ashamed. I didn’t expect this in my own culture, you see.

How could it be that the western gentlemen  AUTOMATICALLY feel ashamed and apologize to Muslim ladies when they accidentally speak coarsely in our presence…YET the Malaysian ?gentleman (the question mark is there for a purpose) did not even bat an eyelash when they swear so eloquently, they can make even PROSTITUTES blush!

WE! Who are supposed to have ‘ciri-ciri ketimuran’, did not even bat an eyelash and passively accept obnoxious behavior in our presence!

Shame on us!

“Bukanlah Nabi s.a.w itu seorang pemaki orang, tidak juga seorang pengucap kekejian dan bukan seorang pelaknat orang lain“. (hadis al-Imam al-Bukhari daripada Anas bin Malik r.a)

So, let’s be like our hero, the Prophet S.A.W and stop swearing. Challenge yourself to speak beautifully, wittily, intelligently…. or just decently.

I guess what I meant to say is, at least, speak like the people that make up the medical department. That alone, is a source of immense gratification, at its maximum.

Ah, have I mentioned I am going to miss medical?

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