Gentlemanly Behaviour.

I found that at 25, I still like the same type of men that I had liked when I was 18.My idea of an ideal husband at 18 is a faceless man with intelligent conversation and a perfect gentleman. He would open the door for me and carry my bags; he would listen to my problems and solve them; he would hear me out and be understanding; and when I am angry he just knew how to calm me; and when we have different views he would not belittle me unnecessarily. He is patient with me and would protect me.

He would take over all the responsibility of my father, and in return, I will respect him forever.

Maybe, I was such a day-dreamer. *sigh*

I so adore it when I am surrounded by gentlemanly behaviour.

1)My thesis supervisor is super duper obliging; quick decision, snappy action and is happy to help every single time.

2)My Gen Med supervisor is the epitome of good gentleman, with a quick smile and an amiable nature; and gives good evaluation too no matter how minor my accomplishment was.

3)My Registrar has a stern fatherly manner but I always feel like I am looked after. In the team meeting, he would pick and choose which of the food that I could eat (halal) and what I could not eat. (well, basically he let me have the first go at all the vegetarian option available.)

4)My intern (a mature age student who has a 12 year old daughter) is like a nerd eldest brother I never have.

It makes me feel quite sad to leave Gen Med rotation….and even Australia.

Is it possible that gentlemanly behaviour has become extinct in the younger generation? Or is it merely extinct in the Malay men population?

No wonder I have always been attracted to older men. I adore their traditional values….the values of responsibility and the ability to look after their women. The values of speaking politely and nicely to their women.The values that men will guide, but gently.The values of “I will not use swear words in front of women and children because I am an honourable man”.

It’s an Islamic value too: No matter what happens, we will look after our women and our children.

Maybe those values can only be found in the older generation…the generation who didn’t have computer games to pass their time. The generation who went out to play in the field and interacted with others in the neighbourhood rather than chatting in the YM using really boring and HARSH words rather than beautiful literary expression. The generation who in their childhood, enjoyed reading and adored stories of the adventures of chivalrous knights.

It’s not really hard to be a gentleman. All you have to do is be nice. Swallow hurtful words, say only the best of words, smile and never smirk, state and not snap.

When men come to me, behaving like kids rather than speaking intelligently,hurling provocative tauntings rather than giving polite opinion, flaunting their emotional ramblings rather than logical reasoning, I become completely turn off.

People have tried to gain girls’ attention with some stupid tactics:

1)They have the mistaken notion that women like ‘bad boys’ so they would behave BADLY, rudely, ungentlemanly, harshly…and think that by behaving that way, they can attract someone to take notice of them. Really, really stupid! No self-respecting women would like that. Take note that the Dao Ming Si character in the Meteor Garden is a stupid fiction meant ONLY for childish entertainment! Don’t go copying that kind of personality for your own.

2)They think that by paying insincere compliments, the women would not know what a fake they really are.

3)They think flirting like teenagers works! Sheesh!

None of these tactics are impressive. When these are used on me (rare occasion, let me assure you), they always make me feel like I am talking to unreasonable kids, playing childish time-wasting games! In those who like to provoke me unnecessarily, I used to try to reason with them in a lengthy back-and-forth arguments…but after awhile, I knew when to cut the game short by not responding at all.  *sigh*

I found that at 25, I still like the same type of men that I had liked when I was 18.

The gentleman type.

Maybe back then I was just too mature for my age.

Thank God, finally, my age has caught up with my maturity.

4 thoughts on “Gentlemanly Behaviour.

  1. and my cardiologist sweet smile-‘tak-ape-tak-ape-u’ll learn soon’ whenever we dont know what to answer, rather than being scolded by -negara-siapalah-punye consultant.

    i think that is soooo gentleman-ly behaved too.

    aaahhhh… how sweet all the doctors here are! *hopefully takkan kene doktor bekeng kalau tak, rosak perspektif.haha!*

    i think most australians are gentleman. i mean the highly educated one. haha.

    kakfiza, i would love to have a gentleman as my husband too. every woman does. but i prefer one who i can treat like a child. not overmerengek but natural-merengek.haha. yang perangai comel2 clumsy tak tahu nak buat ape. oh comelnye! yang SELF-DEPENDENT but somehow WOMAN-DEPENDENT. eh tak. WIFE-DEPENDENT. hehehehhehee.

    do u know dr mattes the immunology paed? (hope im right) i think he is super cute-clumsy man! HAHA!


    1. I know Dr. Mattes. He IS nice.

      Bagi akak, org yg gentleman ni ada tiga reason:
      1)Highly educated…so, he knows how to behave in a civilized manner.
      2)Matured….dia dah outgrow perangai2 zaman teenagers.
      3)Memang akhlak dia baik, regardless of his education.

      A gentleman is someone who is confident of what he wants (me, of course, lol) and then go for it decisively, but gently.

      You know…the kind of gentleman yang clumsy yang peoz cakap tu…is just like my intern!! Seriously. You should meet him and you will like him…tapi dia dah kawen laaa. hahaha.

      I guess, org2 yg dah kawen jer kot yg gentleman. You know, like what people say, “All the good guys are taken!”


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