I have just finished my Emergency Rotation OSCE exam. Alhamdulillah, that went well, I think.
But that is not what I would like to blog about.
The exam was over and done with. Forgotten.
But the sufferings of the Palestinians in GAZA is still going on…ad nauseam. I could not do anything for them, save the constant praying for them to endure this tribulation and for their spirit to survive the brutality of their torturer. I could not do much except to propagate awareness in my FB status and links. I could not do much, but to forget them just because I can’t do much is a crime.
Three days before the exam, I was shocked by the news on the lethal Israeli raid on the Flotilla Aid. To study for an exam when my Muslim brothers and sisters in Palestine could hardly make their ends meet, felt like a betrayal.
Every time I glanced around the HIC (Hunter Library Information Common), my eyes hurt. I saw the Australian strangers around me laughing among themselves, cracking jokes as though at the other side of the world everything was intact and whole. I saw the Australian strangers around me walking fast, all in a rush to their lecture theaters or to the cafeterias…everything was normal for them.
And it made me feel so guilty to bend my head low over my Advanced Life Support notes, as though everything was normal for me too. I felt guilty, because to study now would feel like I too, was acting my usual normal self. How could I?
But WHAT could I do? Would stop studying and failing an exam be enough show of my support for the Palestinian cause?So, feeling torn, again I kept reading my notes. But my concentration span was laughable at best.
For the first time in my life, I truly realized HOW MUCH the Muslims have weakened. I was hit by a sense of profound inadequacy that I have never felt before.
I read the Australian newspaper to have a look at their take on the Flotilla raid. I read the comment sections written by the Australian readers. Some of them were very pro-Israel, but there was also quite a number of readers who were enlightened to the real issue in Palestine.
I was overcome with anger and grief when I read some of the stupidest, thoughtless comments by these Australians. How dare they! How dare they sat in their office desk, drinking their coffee, surrounded by all the trappings of comfort and civilization and then judged the action of desperate and oppressed Palestinians. As a medical student who has just finished an Emergency Rotation, I have seen MANY people attempting suicide for the trivial reasons of relationship breakups, and routine teenage crisis. And we were taught to treat them with empathy and understanding; not to point any finger of judgment their way. How do they utilize their thinking….that they can feel empathy towards someone who committed suicide for stupid, trivial reasons, yet could not fathom, could not even imagine, could not even TRY to put themselves in the Palestinian shoes when these Palestinians decided to become suicide bombers in order to kill their enemies who have brutalized them for decades and who have oppressed them for the same period of time.
How dare they persist in their short-thinking stupidity and idiocy!!
Do these Australians think that people become suicide bombers for fun? That they they had nothing better to do? That tired of having a normal and fun life, they just one day wake up and just decide to kill themselves with bomb just for the heck of it?
THINK!! If they have any other choice to make their torturer feel even an inkling of the sufferings they suffer every day, would they have chosen to commit suicide bombing? These people are desperate for help. They don’t have high-tech military weapons as Israel does. They know they are going to die anyway, sooner or later. So, since they will die anyway, why not kill their brutal enemy in the process? Then maybe, they will not die in vain!
It’s simple logic.
For the life of me, I do not understand the western people twisted thinking process. I suppose, they can only empathize on relationship problems and routine crisis because that’s what they face everyday. To them, a stupid break-up from a less than appreciative partner is catastrophic enough! So, they can totally empathize with such reason for suicide. They have never faced having their home and property bulldozed or forcefully stolen, or their children killed, or their father being put in prison for no other reason than defending their country. How could they have any empathy on these events; after all Palestinians have nothing to do with them.
Reading the comments posted by the blind pro-Israel readers has made me realized one thing… my Muslim nation needs my service more than anyone else. If I stay in Australia, I will be giving my service to people who the large majority of them do not appreciate Muslims and do not care about the sufferings of Muslims. I have my pride. I will not stay where I am not appreciated, or even wanted.
Deciding to do my internship in Malaysia is the best decision I have ever made. I could no longer be among these people. I never belonged. Once in Malaysia, I would choose a good NGO to be active in, insya Allah. An NGO that is passionate for the Palestinian cause. Maybe then, I could resolve this guilty feelings and would feel like I am doing something.
In Australia, it’s so easy for me to be selfish.
Any semblance of normalcy has vanished for me…my heart cried for them. I know in my heart that if all Muslims in the world could gather their resources and declare war on Israel, if all Muslims in the world can be united and can show a serious determination for jihad, I am willing to quit my medical course right now and get enlisted.
It wouldn’t be hard to do. I have always wanted to be in the army. It would not even be a sacrifice on my part to quit medicine, a course that I was not very passionate about to begin with. Because if that war does take place, it’s gonna be big enough to qualify as the third world war….we’re talking about serious collaborative effort among all Muslims countries to go to war against Israel and its allies! With a war of that particular scale….no one would care about a medical degree, not even MARA. With a World War taking place, all normal activity (like being at the uni) would cease, anyway. So, it won’t be a sacrifice at all to quit medicine if a third world war is going to take place.
But when no countries are willing to fight the arrogance of Israel (except for the Turkey Prime Minister) then it would simply be a wasteful sacrifice to quit medicine, a course that I would graduate from in only another semester, insya Allah.
So, painfully, I bent my head low, to continue reading my Advanced Life Support Notes. However, I know, I can no longer feel blissful ignorance now. As a Muslim, I have a duty to God and humanity. As are you, my dear readers.
When the time comes to go to war, we should all be ready to give up our ‘normal’ life and get enlisted. But until then, we can guiltily, continue leading as normal a life as possible, bearing in mind that in GAZA, a struggle is what’s normal.