1. Preparation and Hurdles

The Hurdles After The Preparation

I was asked to be in charge of Kebajikan (Bajik) for the whole adventure and I shared the resposibility together with Ilya, a delightful first year junior. Truthfully speaking, I had no experience with extended trip…and did not know what to prepare and what to expect. We are talking one month of trip here! We are bringing our whole life with us.

Luckily, the sisters have been very supportive. They made a list of what I should gather (first aid kit, panadol, sun block, lotion, towel, etc etc) and Ilya did most of the job because I was very busy with 4th year final exam.

You would be surprised how extensive the preparation should be in order to lead an uncivilized existence in a remote part of Australia. Some were in charge of the tents, some were in charge of the food…and seriously to me, being biro makanan must be the hardest part of all. Soo many cooking utensils to gather and borrow from others, you always need to keep track of the supplies and it’s all just one headache after another. And of course, the job of a treasurer is no less burdensome…keeping track of money, having to use your money first when others are not prompt in paying their share of the trip, keeping track of all the expenses and the receipts. Hani did a very good job of it. If I was the one having to deal with the money, I will make a muck of it and I would probably surrender from the very beginning. Because I HATE keeping accounts!  When I was the treasurer of UNIS (University of Newcastle Islamic Society) I had experienced all those headaches and by the end of the term, I vowed never to be a treasurer of any organization again.

To tell you the truth, I got the easiest job of all this time for which I thank God.

Our first hurdle made its appearance from the very beginning…when Kak Dash’s car just refused to start! We needed to call some brothers to jump start the car because we did not have the equipments to do so ourselves. So, with a feeling of guilt and contrition, we called one of the brothers (it was like 5 a.m!!we reasoned out, diorang mesti kena bangun sembahyang subuh juga kan….so biarlah kami kejutkan. hahahah) to help solve the matter.

By the time everything was settled, we could safely claim that we are an expert at jumping start the car. It’s not hard at all!! However, as a result of the unexpected incident, we ended up making our move one hour later than our original plan.

Along the way, I was the co-driver. Pening wehh!! Whoever assigned me the job as a co-driver must have had a very unreasonable expectation of my non-existent map-reading skills. Fortunately, I was the co-driver for the second car! So, I just told my driver (Hani) to go wherever the first car went. Looking back, if I was made the co-driver of the first car, I would have gotten everyone lost a long time ago. Sheesh.

Our second hurdle was when the bonnet of the car I was in suddenly swung open in the middle of a very busy Sydney road. I was at a lost as to what to do. We waited until the traffic light turned red and the car has stopped, then I went out in the middle of the traffic jam to swing the bonnet close. Needless to say, I could feel every pair of eyes inside all the cars out there staring at me.

By the time we arrived in Orange, we found out that the nearest caravan park to the farm where we were planning to work in was fully crowded and occupied.  Haihhh! It was scorching hot outside and my damp forehead was etched in permanent frown. Now what?, I wondered.

We decided to go to another caravan park in Molong…which is 45 minutes drive from the farm! By that time I was confounded by the logistic problem of it all. How are we going to travel 45 minutes back and forth to the farm every day? Dahlah kerja start kul 6 pagi; and before that nak sembahyang subuh, nak breakfast lagi. Perhaps, we all had to wake up at four?  And there was also the matter of the cost of petrol….how much are we going to spend on petrol?

But what to do? Hurdles came left and right and we dealt with them as they came.

In Molong, we set up two tents and one gazebo. Even though I am now an expert in setting up tents, but the rocky ground in Molong made it quite a challenge to hammer in the pegs. We had to change position numerous times. There were a few instances where the strong wind made me fear for the survival of our tents.

After having finished with the tents, we decided to eat the lunch that we brought from Newcastle. It was already 4.00 p.m by that time.

Guess what?

The bihun goreng dah basi pulaaaak! Oh My God…I felt so crushed and frustrated I could kick something.

I was the first person to have suspected that something was funny with the smell of the bihun. I am no expert in cooking, but I am very in tune about how delicious food should smell like. I could not even bring myself to taste them because I already knew by the smell of it that this food has gone bad. Of course, there was some dispute over whether or not the food has really gone bad or it merely smell that way.

With a smile, I said, “Oklah…korang makan laa kalau korang rasa ok. Akak tak nak makan.”

At last, not wanting to take any chances and after some of the more expert among us tasted the bihun for confirmation, we decided that it was not wise to risk our health in this very remote area of Australia.

We lunched with tuna and bread that first day in Molong.

I remembered thinking…what have I done? Did I really choose to abandon my very comfortable room in Edwards Hall which I have paid very expensively for, in order to live in a cramped tent with scarce food (if not rotten)?

But I told myself that I should rise above the challenge. Takkan satu hari dah nak give up? My family would make a laughingstock out of me. Furthermore when I found out that my dad has said to my sister that he thought I wouldn’t last a week, I felt like I should at least stay for 8 days!

Patience Vs Determination

Dari dulu lagi orang selalu cakap kita kena bersabar…

Dan bagi aku sabar tu satu benda yang sangat susah nak buat.

Aku cuma boleh bersabar kalau aku sudah berazam.

So, the trick is, if you want me to be patient, then you should manipulate me into thinking that I should be determined to prove myself…

When I was in standard 6 and was about to face UPSR…Oh God, I was such a bad student back then. But my dad promised that if I obtain straight As I would get 50 ringgit for every A I got. But if I don’t get straight As, I would get only 20 ringgit for every A I got.

So, I studied harder. There were only 16 people who got straight As in my school ….and I was one of them, Alhamdulillah. Most people didn’t get an A for Science. And I had always been the worst for that subject.

When I was in second year, people was marveled when they found out I decided to do 50 units so that I wouldn’t have to extend one more semester. Diorang rasa aku ni tabah/sabar dan kuat usaha. But the thing is, it wasn’t about patience at all. Before I was allowed to do 50 units, I have been exchanging quite vehement (if not rude) emails with course coordinator and the dean. I was desperate to prove my self.

Kalau orang lain lebih kepada “bersabar dan bertawakkal”, mine is more like “berazam dan bertawakkal.” Sebab, sabar aku cuma datang selepas aku dah berazam untuk melakukan sesuatu yang aku rasa penting dan worth the effort. Kalau benda tu tak penting, maka azam aku pun tak kuat, so aku tak mungkin boleh sabar dan end up berkobar-kobar separuh jalan sahaja. Contohnya macam azam nak kurangkan makan dan diet. Cet! Itu bukanlah benda penting sangat untuk aku…so azam aku sekejap jer!

I am only patient when I am determined. So, sometimes people have to challenge me, or dare me or double dare me…and then you will see how hard I could work to achieve my goal. So all these while, I often thought that I could be patient if I wanted to…it’s just that most of the time I had no reason to be patient and I just didn’t want to.

But actually, what I have is not patience. Only determination.

And this time, I was determined not to make a laughingstock of myself…so I was resolved to stay as long as I needed to.

Patience had nothing to do with it.

But I was hopeful that I might learn to acquire that noble character whilst being here. I was grappling with the effort to be patient.

Because this time, determination was just not enough! Why this time it’s not enough? Simply because I could not be very determined when the goal is not important enough:

1)I don’t need the money. So this trip is more like something I did just to fill up my summer holiday with activities. If I remain in my comfortable room, I won’t be bored because I can always read all the novels I could borrow in the library.

2) Train station is available in Orange. It would be so easy for me to just give up and ask Ina to send me to train station and let me go home by myself.

3)I have already paid for summer accommodation. I could live in relative comfort. Why should I bother?

So, as you can see, this time determination is not going to be able to make me stay! I’ve got to learn to have patience this time.

Tapi bersabar itu adalah kesusahan yang paling tinggi.